A Post In Which We Pose With Large Objects (Feb. 1)

This week has found us leaving Tony’s alternative-lifestyling bucolic paradise in the Coromandel for more southern destinations. Our original plan was to run back up to Auckland to grab our IRD documents (tax papers) that we figured should arrive at our mailbox at a downtown Auckland hostel. We called them to inquire whether anything had arrived for us and they said no, which led us to skip going to Auckland and head directly for Tauranga, a seaside town on the northern part of the Bay of Plenty.

Unfortunately, they were either having technical difficulties, or they are idiots, because when we checked our email in Tauranga, we were informed that we did indeed have two letters at our mailbox. We can have them forwarded to us at a post office elsewhere, so that’s no problem, and it’s nice not having to traipse back up to Auckland, which we could do without anyway. But it doesn’t necessarily give us a lot of faith in our choice of mail handlers…

Driving from Thames, our stay last night, and Tauranga, we drive very near two large photo-op-worthy touristy destinations, a large L&P soda bottle in Paeroa, and a large kiwifruit structure in Te Puke. As you can see, these are indeed very large objects. Usually, in the States, such tourist traps at least have a good T-shirt to buy, commemorating one’s visit to such a prestigious location.

Unfortunately, the rampages of capitalism apparently haven’t reached New Zealand, as these places were woefully short on respectable souvenirs. Our guidebooks told us to expect L&P ice cream in Paeroa, but guess what they didn’t have? If you guessed anything other than L&P ice cream, please hit yourself.

L&P (Lemon & Paeroa) is a popular New Zealand soda, “World Famous in New Zealand,” which sums up the appeal of the beverage quite well. It’s a lemony soda with a hint of some other secret flavor, exactly what they won’t say, but we have a guess: Windex. At least that’s what it seems to us, although that hasn’t stopped us from ordering a few while we’re here. I think I’m secretly hoping it will grow on me, then I will love it, and will feel compelled to tell people of it in the States, and then maybe someday it will be sold in the States, and most people won’t like it because it’s kind of unpalatable, and then I can feel superior since I have a more developed sense of taste. Or something like that. Or maybe it’s just not very good; Kiwis also love Vegemite.

L&P - World Famous in New Zealand

Also disappointingly, they didn’t have kiwifruit ice cream in Te Puke, which seemed a bit odd seeing as they had about a dozen other flavors, including perennial favorite boysenberry. I’ll do some research, and unless kiwifruit is for some reason completely unfit for production of ice creams and sorbets, WTF? Also, their orchard tour was NZ$20pp, which seemed exorbitant, especially seeing as we may end up picking kiwifruit at a real orchard someday. The irony of paying for a tour of a menial job we might end up doing soon was just too rich for us. Plus most of the tourists in the Kiwifruit tram were old, not in our young and hip demographic. Te Puke, you’re on notice. But as I appreciate any good photo-op with large fruit, here you go.