Reviews of Selected Fijian Snack Foods and Beverages

In an attempt to maximize the educational content of this blog, instead of the usual entertaining travel-related entries, we now include some observations on a topic that everyone wants to know about - Fijian snack food. Of course, we find this topic to be very compelling, and we hope that you do too. Obviously, we wrote this post a few months ago during our travels through Fiji, but we saved it for a rainy day in our New Zealand travels. Plus, we are currently enjoying unlimited Internet at our new pad, so we're posting this one for free. Without further ado...

UFOs – The packaging promises both “Unusually Flavored Objects” and “Burger Flavored Snacks. Only one of these statements seems to be true, per our taste test. That is, UFOs taste unlike any American snack food that we’ve encountered, tasting like a ketchup-flavored Andy Capp’s fry. I’m not really sure how one might actually flavor a snack food to taste like a burger, and I’m not sure I want to know what sort of chemical alchemy might be required for that concoction. In any event, these were quite good, thumbs up.

Bongos – These are basically cheesy rings with a crispy texture. Not bad, but our bag ripped much before we got the chance to eat them, making them stale. Incomplete grade, but not bad from what we could glean.

Monster Foot – One of, if not the only, snack that I’ve ever had that requires a bit of cognitive dissonance to enjoy. The snacks are nacho cheese-flavored, but look like feet. If that doesn’t immediately strike you as a problem, enjoy. In my taste test, however, I had smash the contents of my bag to enjoy them, as a food product that smells of cheese but reminds me of feet is not particularly high on my list of desires. In this case, Monster Feet you ask too much of me, why couldn’t you be shaped like something more appealing, like brains?

Peanut Ruffs – A curious product that has the texture of a firm foam packing peanut and a flavor surprisingly close to that of real peanuts. Peanut Ruffs taste so similar to peanuts and not like peanut butter that I wonder if real peanuts are prohibitively expensive to bring to Fiji. A versatile snack that would probably go well with beer or soda, Peanut Ruffs go both ways.

Fiji Bitter – Ah, the sportsman’s beer, the beer that has captured the imagination of all Fijians. Well probably not quite, but it’s about the cheapest beer and available everywhere in Fiji. Bitter has a solid and pleasing label design, which is good since it’s plastered just about everywhere, including most entry and exit signs for towns in Fiji.

A lager that tastes probably on par with a Busch or something similar, Fiji Bitter isn’t great, but I can guarantee that you’re in a much better mood drinking Fiji Bitter than Busch, since to drink Fiji Bitter you’re almost certainly sitting in Fiji at the moment. Seen in that light, who are you not to enjoy Fiji Bitter?

Fiji Gold – Basically Fiji Bitter Light. Most people would probably drink more of this than Bitter if those were the only two choices, but I wouldn’t, as Gold’s label is way inferior to Bitter’s. As a logo enthusiast, I can’t fight my nature. Fiji Gold marketing geniuses, back to the drawing boards!

Gin and Tonic in a can – Absolutely tremendous product, I would buy a case of these if they were available in the States. Every so often I want a gin and tonic, but buying tonic is fraught with peril, as you have to either use big bottles which go flat really quickly, or buy more expensive small bottles. Plus the twisting of caps and mixing of drinks is usually more than I can be bothered to do. Which I suppose is a bit sad, but probably nothing I’m going to do anything about.

The convenience and awesomeness of this product really speaks for itself, I think. Just crack open a can, and you’ve instantly got a classy party in the making. I might add a bit of lime juice, but really I’m not going to quibble about a product that blows my mind in all the right ways.

Vodka with Orange Soda in a can (not pictured) – Also a good beverage, you could easily drink these all night, and then live to regret it the next morning. No muss no fuss, what’s not to like, besides the probable hangover exacerbated by the sugary soda?

Fiji Water (not pictured since it’s available all over the US) – It’s water. I have little comment other than the fact that it’s flavorless, which is a plus, but a rather subtle reason for which to charge a premium price in my mind. The Fijians seem particularly proud of it, so more power to them. I can’t say I’ll be buying too much of this in the States since it’s expensive and tastes like nothing, like many other bottled waters that we pay too much for already.